


The Cruelest Laughter

by littlealex



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-26
Updated: 2011-09-26
Packaged: 2017-10-24 03:40:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/258547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlealex/pseuds/littlealex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ohno laughs and Nino gets awkward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cruelest Laughter

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Impetus](https://archiveofourown.org/works/131852) by [whenyoudesertme (phrenk)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/phrenk/pseuds/whenyoudesertme). 



If you had asked Nino five years ago how he felt about Ohno Satoshi, he would have had an answer at the ready. Talented, calm, quirky, cute ass - there was a standard set of adjectives, punctuated by a revolving set of anecdotes about his leader.

Over the years, however, his answer had grown more complicated. Nino knew what he felt, and how his 'feelings' for Ohno had slowly taken a deeper, more terrifying and exciting turn. Being honest with himself wasn't a problem, so when he realized he was in love with Ohno, he accepted it without hesitation.

The others already knew, of course, and they had each taken turns telling him that he should do something about it. All except for Ohno himself, who seemed blissfully unaware of and uninterested in Nino's feelings, and unthinkingly accepted the assumption that the displays of skinship was just fan service (which, admittedly, it sometimes was, because Nino used every method at his disposal to fuck with their fans). Nino had come to terms with Ohno's lack of interest years ago, and the pain of unrequited love that coursed through him had dulled to an occasional ache that he was used to managing with the occasional one night stand or binge drinking session with Ryo (because Ryo never asked questions).

Nino had never imagined that things would change, and he certainly didn't expect them to change the way they did. He would never have guessed that he would find his heart stomped on, his sexual fantasies torn asunder quite so glibly, as they were at the onsen that day. It had been a normal day of filming, the usual high tension Aiba and serious Jun tag-teaming an impressionable Sho (in more ways than one, Nino suspected), but when a sleepy Ohno pried open his eyes and very obviously looked at his crotch and _laughed_ , the day - and the humiliation - were etched in Nino's memory forever.

It wasn't as though Ohno had never seen him naked before, Nino reasoned with himself as he took a very private shower after filming that day. What had changed? There hadn't been anything embarrassing about the placement towel - one of the staff would have corrected it if there had been - but Ohno had clearly looked and laughed and none of it made sense. He rode home in a car with Aiba that evening, who was babbling about accidentally putting on Sho's pants again, and Nino pretended to listen as he realized that as perceptive as his group mates were sometimes, they didn't seem to see how soul-crushing the brief chuffy laughter had been.

He tried to laugh it off, he really did. He had spent enough time pretending he didn't have feelings for Ohno that he occasionally forgot he had them at all, but something as simple as a burst of laughter at an inopportune moment brought them all back to the forefront of his mind, and the heartache they brought felt as acute as though it were the day he had first admitted to them. It was difficult to escape Ohno, though. They had never been around each other quite as much as they were these days, and since he was well aware that "Ohmiya" was an indispensable part of Arashi, Nino knew he couldn't ignore Ohno when they were together. So he had no choice but to bear the weight of his unrequited feelings, all over again.

It was hardest during their next tour. Though the sting of the initial laughter had worn off, and the reignited pain of his inevitable heartache had dulled somewhat, he couldn't escape the compounding annoyance he felt with having to keep up appearances. It was okay to perform for an audience, but when they all gathered in Aiba's room for drinks the first night as was customary, he had to remain in character, letting Ohno drape an arm around his shoulders and trying not to seem rude when he left early.

Unsurprisingly, Sho was the only one that noticed - or, at least, the only one game enough after a few beers to follow Nino out into the hall and grab onto his arm and want to Talk About It.

"Nothing's wrong, Sho-chan, I'm just tired. I'll sleep and be better tomorrow, promise," Nino said evasively, trying to shrug Sho's hand off his elbow.

"Nino," Sho said seriously, swerving and knocking into him as they walked, "I'm not an idiot. I've seen... I know things have changed again. For you. With Satoshi."

Nino stopped in front of his door and Sho nearly tripped. "Sho, it's fine. Please, let me handle it. I've been okay until now, I can take care of myself." Nino's words were firm, but a smile played around the corners of his mouth. Sho cared, and was concerned not just for Arashi, but also for Nino himself, and his drunken motherly instincts were endearing. But Nino really didn't want to hear it.

Sho gave him a disapproving look. "Can you at least tell me what happened?" he asked quietly, and Nino could see that he was only going to try to fix it. But it couldn't be fixed.

"No," Nino said simply, and this time he did smile. "Because if I tell you, you'll tell Aiba, Aiba will tell Matsujun, and Matsujun will hit me with his rings on and I'll feel even worse." Sho snickered, because Jun hadn't worn rings in years, but the memory was good for a laugh.

"Okay, okay," Sho said, moving his hand from Nino's elbow to his shoulder. "But promise, you'll talk to me or one of the others if you need to. Tours are trying enough without taking on extra stress."

Nino knew he wouldn't take Sho up on his offer, but nodded anyway. "Of course, Sho-chan. Now, go back to Aiba's room and make sure the three of them aren't sobbing about Arashi already. It's only been one show."

The rest of the tour was manageable, until he and Ohno roomed together. It should have been fine, of course, because they'd roomed together for years, and they'd shared a bed platonically probably hundreds of times. But despite trying to keep away from Ohno as he fell asleep, Nino found himself the big spoon when he woke up. The awkward part, though, was when Ohno moved back into Nino's crotch unconsciously; it was only then that Nino realized he was already hard. He pretended to wake up a few moments later, rolling out of bed as sleepily as he could while his heart was pounding fast in his chest, and retreated to the bathroom to jerk himself off as quickly and quietly as he could, eyes screwed shut and biting down on a hand towel.

This wasn't the first time it had happened - that Ohno had pressed too close and Nino had to excuse himself to masturbate - but it was the first time in a very long time he had felt physically sick afterwards. He knew it was the tour doing it to him - everything was heightened on tour - but that didn't stop the way he felt. So instead, he enlisted Sho's help to cheat at room janken, and spent most nights drinking with the juniors or their tour manager instead of Arashi. The others understood, and Ohno didn't seem to notice, so it worked well, an easy patch on the problem until the tour was over.

It was easier when he had his own home to go to, but soon enough that was invaded as well. Granted, he'd agreed to it, but only under duress.

"Nino, Jun and I want to seduce Sho into having a threesome, do you think you could organize a porn night for everyone?" Nino was used to Aiba saying strange things, but this honestly caught him off-guard. He paused his game and looked up, only then noticing that they were the only two in the green room.

Sighing, he put his game down and looked at Aiba. "Are you sure that's a good idea, Aiba?"

"Of course! It will put him in the mood, and also catch him off-guard. You know how suggestible he is," Aiba said, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Nino supposed it was logically sound - more than could be said for most of Aiba's schemes - but he really didn't want to agree.

"Can't you just... invite him to a porn night and then say 'oh I guess the others couldn't make it'?" Nino suggested, hoping Aiba didn't have a rebuttal because it was the only way he could foresee making a polite escape from the responsibility.

Aiba shook his head. "We always have porn night at your house. Besides, then we'd have to have it at Jun's place or mine, and you know that neither of those are viable options."

Nino know it was true. Jun had put his foot down early on about hosting a porn night, and Aiba's apartment was in a perpetual state of disarray. And while Aiba's collection of porn was enviable, Nino's entertainment system was easily the best. Nino wished there was a tactful way to uninvite Ohno, but sitting in the corner watching porn while Aiba and Jun convinced Sho to have sex with them would be infinitely more awkward than ignoring the fact that Ohno was in the room.

Aiba sensed Nino's resolve weakening, so he moved to sit beside Nino and pressed his hands together beneath his chin. "Please?" he begged, batting his eyelashes, forcing an awkwardly vivid memory from their junior days fooling around to the front of Nino's memory.

In an effort to push the memories aside, Nino just nodded his head and pushed Aiba away. "Okay, okay, fine," he said, pushing harder when Aiba tried to wrap him in a hug. He regretted the answer instantly, but reneging on the agreement would be worse. He would just have to bear it as he did everything else - with a great amount of willpower.

Nino tried not to engage himself in thinking about what might happen on that night, because he knew it would drive him crazy. He was nervous enough just wondering how he was going to feel being in the same room as Ohno, porn, and the others' unrestrained hormones that he didn't want to add in the potential horror of anything _happening_. The only thing he let himself focus on was the resolve to sit, tucked in the corner of the couch, quietly watching the video and trying desperately to count backwards from one thousand.

Of course, Nino was just too perceptive for his own good.

He managed to act naturally as the others arrived, as they had beers in his tiny kitchen, as they settled in the living room and organized the DVD - he was doing a better job than Aiba, even, who was far too animated even when he didn't have a goal. But as soon as the movie started, and the room became the sort of quiet that screamed 'sex', it became increasingly difficult to turn off his senses.

Nino heard the distinctive sound of Ohno's zipper but ignored it. He stared at the television screen as though it was the only thing in the room, attempting to create some tunnel vision that excluded any external noises. Then Ohno moaned his name, so quietly it was almost under his breath, but the noise cut through the silence. The others turned to look at Ohno, and Nino couldn't help but follow their gazes. He regretted it immediately. Ohno looked directly back at him, his hand moving purposefully over his obvious though clothed erection, and said Nino's name again, loud and unmistakable.

Nino's mind spun, and he couldn't take his eyes off Ohno. He heard Jun distract the others and desert the room, but it didn't register; his tunnel vision had moved to Ohno and he couldn't hear or see anything else. Nino felt as though he was hallucinating, and when Ohno met his eyes, he could feel his blood re-route directly to his crotch. He knew they were alone, but that wasn't what prompted him to speak. The words bubbled from his mouth unconsciously, spilling over without the filter that had been carefully in place for so many years.

"You laughed at my cock." Nino wanted to take it back as soon as he'd said it, because it sounded so petty and not at all descriptive of everything he was feeling.

"Did not," Ohno said, a little breathless but completely present.

Nino could feel himself getting annoyed, despite his blood rushing in another direction. "You looked at my crotch and you laughed, I saw you, Oh-chan." He reached for the remote, turning off the ridiculous porn noises. The room was eerily silent, and the bizarre atmosphere seemed to crawl beneath Nino's skin. It itched.

Ohno seemed to concede with a slow nod of his head. "Ah, I did do that. But I didn't, really."

At least, Nino reasoned, the annoyance was keeping his hormones from going haywire.

"I thought it was _Ni no Arashi_."

The explanation did not help, and a mangled and angry noise escaped Nino's throat.

"I thought you were fucking with us. But you weren't, and then I couldn't stop looking, couldn't stop thinking about it. Thinking about you." There was a brief pause, and Nino tried to follow what Ohno was saying. He didn't know where it was heading, and it scared him.

"Your penis is kind of huge," Ohno said with an air of finality.

"... my penis is kind of huge," Nino repeated, the whirlwind of confused emotions strangling his voice and putting it on edge.

"Also, I'm in love with you," Ohno added, as though that made things better.

Nino found impossible to say anything to that. It wasn't an unwelcome statement, of course, but he had never imagined he would ever hear it. He wondered if Ohno's assessment of his enormous penis (which, comparatively and proportionately, he supposed it kind of was) had blinded him, but then Ohno moved to sit beside him and his brain stopped functioning entirely. Ohno smiled, but all Nino could focus on was his lips.

"Do I need to put my pants back on?" Ohno asked, and Nino didn't know where the question came from, but he glanced down at Ohno's penis, trapped beneath his underwear. Nino didn't know much of anything, really, except that he needed to kiss Ohno. So he did.

Nino had imagined their first kiss many times. Obviously, they'd kissed before, but not with any purpose, and Nino knew that if those fake kisses left him tingling all the way to his toes, then a real kiss would knock him over. And it almost did. Years of pent-up feelings went into that one kiss, and it left Nino's nerves raw, his fingers shaking as he took off his shirt, his heart beating as though it would jump out of his chest.

The rest happened in a blur, a shivering, shuddering, nervous blur that burned itself in Nino's mind so indelibly that it all but erased the memory of the day at the onsen. It was a flurry of movement, urgency borne of repressed feelings, culminating in a sticky, sated mess on the couch. Nino didn't want to move, then, feeling boneless as Ohno's spent body slowly melted against his own, but Ohno wiped a dirty hand across his skin and Nino couldn't help wrinkling his nose.

 _"Shower," Nino said, nudging Ohno away. Ohno grumbled softly, clinging for a second, before rolling over abruptly and standing up. He struck a ridiculous victory pose, arms flung above his head, and Nino wanted to tease him but he couldn't. Ohno's eyes were radiating happiness and Nino felt the same painful joy in his own chest and he stood up so he could wrap his arms around Ohno's bare chest. They hugged like they had so many times before, so tightly that most people wouldn't be able to breathe, this time with nothing between them, both of them honest at last. When they got to the shower they were holding hands._

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](http://jentfic-remix.livejournal.com/71765.html). I used a little of the original fic at the end - denoted in italics - because I couldn't find a better way to end the story. ♥ Thanks to [](http://waxrose.livejournal.com/profile)[**waxrose**](http://waxrose.livejournal.com/), my beta, and [](http://elfiepike.livejournal.com/profile)[**elfiepike**](http://elfiepike.livejournal.com/) for listening to me whine constantly and giving it a final read-over.


End file.
